'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring very far from the couch.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The children were dressed all snugly in red, too big for the sleigh, too old for their bed!
While Dad in his Festivus, without a ball cap, really was wishing he'd taken a nap!
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my cider to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash, grabbed my shotgun and hid all my cash.
The moon was quite bright in spite of no snow, and it gave the lustre of -duh-moonlight to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature kayak, a Prijon, the kind I hold dear.
With a little old paddler, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his little boat came, and he whistled, and chuckled, and addressed us by name;
"Philo is tired, he's been up for a while, but he's still wrapping presents and giving a smile.
Mother Nature has not fired her gun, this is quite good, steel shot is not fun.
The Whee is excited, she can't go to sleep, tuck under the covers and don't you dare peek!
Daughter #1 in will soon fly, and the noise and buzz will mount to the sky."
So up to the house-top the sleek craft now flew,
With the deck bag full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard up on top, the sound of a chubby man land with a plop.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in neoprene, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all waterproof, right down to his boot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a flashlight he held tight in his teeth,
because you need light when you sneak like a thief.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
that grew in the winter when he watched too much telly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And he brought many goodies from the cold Kayak shelf;
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
We discussed the best color for Kayaks-of course it was red.
He went straight to his work, he did not procrastinate
And filled all the stockings, he couldn't be late.
And using the special life jacket with the air hose,
Giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his craft, and grabbed his long paddle,
It was kind of a tight fit due to his kinda large middle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he stroked out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."