The life of an Elf

I see elves. I see elves, which is way better than seeing dead people, or IRS agents, or your doctor. The elves are really, really busy right now, so I see them a lot. I feel kinda sorry for them, they look so tired.


Si-i-i-ghhh. Santa's list is never done. Checking it twice. Making all those toys. Do kids even play with toys anymore? Why doesn't Santa just make a bulk order for Wii games?

Loading the sleigh. Feeding the reindeer. Brushing the reindeer. Shoveling out the reindeer shed. And getting paid in fruitcake and cookies. I'm sick of cookies. For that matter, I'm sick of reindeer. C'mon, this the 21st century. We have rocket propulsion technology now, for Kringle's sake!

Oh well, my shift is almost done. I'll finish out this season and then look into vet school. At least I can claim some real experience with animals. Five hundred years of shoveling reindeer poop ought to count for something.

And then I can be a regular girl and hang out with my buds. I'll find a plastic surgeon and have my ears done. No more wearing only red and green. NO more reindeer!!