How 'bout them apples?

These are Granny Smith apples. One of these a day keeps my doctor away. So I've heard.

This is a horse apple, also known as hedge apple. One of these a day, thrown under your house, keeps the armadilloes away. So I've heard.

This apple tastes tart, tangy, and delicious.

I've never tasted this apple, and probably never will.

When people see this apple, they say "yum, pie..."

When people see this apple, they say  "gimme that thang, I'm gonna chuck it."

Lest you think I jest, please read about Eureka, Kansas's only real claim to fame, chuck a hedgeball. I would never lead you astray.