Halloween down the Rabbit Hole

Thank goodness for big sisters who like to dress up at Halloween and go trick-or-treating. I personally detest a holiday that encourages children to beg, to run through the dark in dark costumes, dodging traffic, and encourages candy consumption. Where's the holiday that celebrates broccoli?

But, weak-willed parent that I am, I always give in and wave them merrily off to their beggerly pursuits. This is actually a holiday full of guilt and conflict for me. But my conflict lies in that while I dislike all the above mentioned things, I LOVE the chocolate candy they bring home (OK, and the fact that my older daughter takes the younger one trick-or-treating, so I never have to leave the house).
I wait anxiously for them to arrive back home safe and sound, and then dive into the treat bag like a hyena on an antelope kill. Where's the Three Muskateers? The Baby Ruths? What cheapo gave you this coupon that's expired?!?! Keep the gum, the wax teeth, I want the chocolate.


Besides, they're so cu-u-u-u-u-ute!!!!

Trick-or-treating is not for the faint of heart, and I'm not talking about the scary creatures, spooks or Freddie Kruger types. I'm talking about all the strategy and preparation to get to the point of leaving the house. First it requires many, many phones calls:

Whee: "What are you gonna be?"

Sis: "I dunno, what are you gonna be?"

After this process is repeated about 27 times, they finally reach a consensus on the theme for the year. Then another 27 phone calls ensue to make sure everyone in the trek party is on the same page, because heaven forbid someone's costume not match!!

The night of the big event has arrived and everyone takes turns in the bathroom applying their makeup and costume accessories.

Lil Sis requires minimal make-up, but maximum hair styling. And breath freshening, for optimum candy collection.

Big Sis requires no hair styling, but considerable make-up. She's had a few more years practice in the art of Halloween realism.

Did you think those were her real lips?!?!

Poor victimized boyfriend. He might be even more mad than the Mad Hatter to allow this to be done to him.

This is kind of like those little clown cars- how many people in costume can you squeeze into one bathroom?

  Awwww, they look great, don't they?

I like to award some little prize for the most creative/ingenious/cutest costume, and I almost gave it to the kid dressed as the UPS man until I realized it was the UPS man. O-o-o-ops. Nice costume, dude. The beard stubble was creeping me out, though.

So even as I bore my children with admonitions to brush well, limit their candy intake, remember to say "thank-you "and "please", I'm secretly waiting for bedtime so I can ransack the goodies. A closet trick-or-treater. I wonder if there's a support group for this? Would I have to wear a costume?
Now children, go get Mama some Baby Ruths, or it's OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!